Five Lessons Learnt This Week

In this week’s Five Lessons Learnt, find out the best way to relieve stress, what robot muscles are made of, how Twitter can predict the future and why clergymen are being trained in stand-up comedy…

1. Churches are about to get funnier

Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 16.04.29Church of England sermons are about to get a little less boring. Priests, lay preachers and clergymen have been offered stand-up comedy coaching in an effort to help the church cast off it’s po-faced image and improve service attendance. They’ll be trained in everything from ways to combat nerves to comic improvisation techniques by stand-up comic Bentley Browning at a clerical gathering in London next month.

So you might want to sell those comedy club tickets and head to church this Sunday. Or not. Naturally, the story opened the doors for a host of biblical jokes across the Twittersphere – our personal favourite is:

“Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah. He floated his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.”

Traders can be comedians at times, too – if you don’t believe us, check out Top 10 Pranks from the Trading Floor

2.Why the skeleton didn’t go to the ball

Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 13.21.51He was busy having an underwater tea party, apparently. A man was snorkelling in the Colorado River in Arizona when he stumbled across what he thought were human remains, so he quickly alerted the authorities. But when the police sent a diver to the bottom of the river, they found that they hadn’t discovered an underwater crime scene after all.

Instead, they’d fallen victim to a prank – the “human remains” were actually two fake skeletons arranged to look like they were having a tea party, sitting in lawn chairs wearing bibs and aviator sunglasses and holding a partially legible sign that includes the phrase “Dream in the River” and the date 16th August 2014, which is probably when the unknown pranksters set up the scene. The lazy bones have been sitting there almost a year…

You might have missed the underwater tea party, but don’t worry, there are plenty more events you can get involved in this summer! Check out the Best Events of Summer 2015 and clear your diaries. 

3. Twitter knows everything

Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 10.11.46Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last week or so, you’ll have heard the commotion from the birth of the new Royal Baby, and the furious debate over what the new princess would be called. Her name – Charlotte Elizabeth Diana – was announced earlier this week, but it didn’t come as news to Twitter user Brenna Wilson, who predicted the name two years ago.

She was actually trying to predict the name and gender of Wills and Kate’s firstborn, so she was a little off the mark at the time. But her tweet has been dug out of the archives this week and retweeted thousands of times. And Brenna saw the funny side, tweeting “I see ice cream in my future”, followed by a photo of a tub of ice cream and the hashtag #soothsayerproblems. So there you have it. Twitter knows everything.

If you’re not following us on Twitter – why not? Follow @LittlefishFX for all the latest from LFX HQ and @LFXKatie for everything Trader Lifestyle. We can’t promise we’ll make any Mystic Meg-like predictions. But we’ll try our best. 

4. How to beat stress

Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 10.19.14Are the charts getting a bit much? Maybe you need some puppy cuddles to help you relax – that’s what students at the University of Central Lancashire are doing, anyway. As part of a campaign by their student union, stressed-out students worn out from revising for upcoming exams can take a break from studying in a designated “puppy room”.

The Guide Dogs charity is providing pooches for the event, and the human interaction is thought to be helpful for the future guide dogs’ training, so it’s win-win. Maybe you should propose an office “puppy room”…

If you don’t have a puppy around for a dose of cuteness to combat stress, check out our Top 10 Ways to Take a Break From Trading for more ways to unwind from the stress of the charts. 

5. What robot muscles are made of

Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 15.45.27Onions coated in gold. No, we’re not making this up (honest). Scientists have been tinkering around in search of a material capable of emulating real human tissue by stretching and flexing, a feat that artificial muscles have been unable to achieve thus far. And they struck gold when they tried wrapping an onion in the precious metal.

Apparently, an onion’s skin stretches and flexes like human tissue, and coating it in gold makes it possible to apply an electrical current which causes the onion to expand and contract just like a live muscle would. So robot world domination is probably a step closer.

While you wait for your fully developed trading robot to hit the market, check out our list of the Best Tech and Apps for Traders in 2015

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