This week in Five Lessons Learnt, dinosaurs on the loose, DIY toddlers, the brilliant concept of WARP Time and the world’s most expensive pizza…
1. Abducted Triceratops Closes Road
Yep, it’s definitely one of the weirdest headlines we’ve ever read. But a road in the Isle of Wight has actually been closed – because it was blocked by a giant model dinosaur. The wandering dino immediately became a hit on social media, before being swiftly removed by road maintenance staff and returned to its home outside Jurassic Garden, a shop selling prehistoric gems and fossils.
You’d be forgiven for assuming this was all a clever PR stunt by Jurassic Garden, but owner Martin Simpson claims he was shocked to see the triceratops on the move, blaming “drunken hooligans” and now planning to secure the model to the ground to prevent a repeat incident. “It takes about five blokes to move the dinosaur a couple of inches,” he said, “so it was definitely a concerted effort and there was probably drink involved”.
To be fair, we’ve seen worse things than model dinosaur abductions happen after a few beers…
2. What Being Left-Handed Means
Besides the fact that everything will always be the wrong way around for you and spiral-bound notebooks are a dreaded evil, being left-handed can actually affect how you vote, what products you buy and even how you choose a partner.
Lefties are more likely to buy products on left-hand shelves and tick boxes on the left side of forms, while it’s the other way around for right-handed people. It’s also been proven that if a right handed person sees two equally attractive people in a bar, they’re more likely to approach the person on the right hand side (so which hand you write with has a lot to answer for…)
The science behind it is we’re naturally inclined to tend towards our more dexterous side. Or we’re just too lazy to move far enough to reach for things on the side of our weaker hand. Make of that what you will.
3. Live life on your own time
Imagine returning from holiday and deciding to do away with your home time zone and keep living on foreign time. That’s exactly what retired hotelier Jim Casey and his wife Barbara decided to do after holidaying in Tenerife – and they reckon life has never been better.
Sticking with European time, an hour ahead of everyone else in the UK, Casey and his wife avoid queues and traffic, get the best seats in restaurants and are never late for appointments. Casey has even come up with a name for it: WARP, Winter Adjustment for Retired People. The couple are adamant they won’t ever change their clocks back to “government time” and have even said they’ll consider jumping forward another hour in line with the spring time change, when the rest of the country will catch up to them.
“I have my own timezone” probably won’t wash with your boss as an excuse for being late, though. Just a heads up.
4. The world’s most expensive pizza
Forget pepperoni and meat feast pizzas, the world’s most expensive pizza has arrived. Budget takeaway chain Pizza Go Go have created a masterpiece of a pizza topped with caviar, lobster, fantail prawns, white truffle oil and a sprinkling of 23-carat gold flakes.
The pizza will set you back £500 and comes complete with a red-carpet delivery service and even a butler to cut and serve your slices.
It has to be ordered 3 days in advance (so no ordering on a Friday night after a few beers) and if you want a stuffed crust with it, it’ll cost you an extra £2. Cheeky.
5. A new way to keep the toddler busy
As any parent knows, you can buy every toy under the sun, only to find that once your pride and joy has finished playing with the packaging, they’ll gravitate straight back towards the door hinges, fireplaces, TV remote, stairs and plug sockets, without so much as a cursory glance at their shiny new trike.
The old adage of always wanting what you can’t have is certainly true at this stage (some may argue it never leaves us), but one daring dad has come up with an ingenious plan to resolve it – give them what they want.
As this image posted on imgur shows, this DIY-inspired play-board includes all the stuff toddlers are usually discouraged from going for: locks, lights, keys, a phone – even the toilet roll. We give the little fella five minutes before he realises just how boring all this is, and runs off to play with his toys. Result!
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