Five Lessons Learnt This Week

Five Lessons Learnt is our weekly round-up of all the strange, off-beat and funny news of the week. Perfect for a bit of Friday afternoon entertainment and a light-hearted look at what’s been going on away from the charts!

This week in Five Lessons Learnt: animals on the loose, the end of the biscuit shortage, robots take to Tinder and why being shorter than your colleagues could cost you…

1. The robot that’s having more luck on Tinder than you

robotRoberto the Robot is Tinder’s latest recruit (and first robot user) after deciding to make like Wall-E and find himself a better half.

A group of military chaps got bored one day and decided to put their robot pal on the dating site. So being top friends, they set him up a profile (complete with photographs of the robot drinking beer, watching Netflix and wandering around a forest, as well as a charming message introducing him to his potential lovers).

Anyone who swipes right will face quite a challenge, though – the robot can only reply to potential datees in binary code.

Which, frankly, means he probably talks a lot more sense than the majority of Tinder candidates…

2. The biscuit shortage is over

biscuitYou might remember a few weeks back we reported the devastating news that custard creams and bourbons were in short supply after the Carlisle McVities biscuit factory was flooded and a national biscuit shortage hit the UK? (Read more about the Great British Biscuit Drought here). Well, panic not – Dubai have saved the day and the biscuit shortage has come to an end.

Two Boeing 777 planes flew into Doncaster from Dubai to rescue the British public by bringing – and  hundreds of the nation’s favourite biscuits.

So the panic is over and you can look forward to enjoying a custard cream with your morning cuppa very soon.

3. Animals on the run

chimpIn on of the more bizarre robbery stories we’ve heard, a number of stuffed animals have been stolen from a taxidermy warehouse this week. The missing species include lions, a rhino head, a giraffe, a sloth, a zebra, a penguin and our personal favourite – a chimpanzee wearing a top hat.

The stolen animals are worth around £100k and are celebrities in the taxidermy world (animals from the warehouse in question have been hired for films and TV including the Harry Potter series, Paddington Bear, James Bond films, the Pirates of the Caribbean, Downton Abbey and more). Warehouse director Alexis Turner reckons the thieves targeted the horns on the stolen rhino head thinking they were real, and on discovering they were actually made of fibreglass, stole animals at random.

Police are on the hunt for the stolen animals, so keep your eyes peeled for a chimpanzee in a top hat on the loose around London…

4. Always double-check your Lottery numbers

shoppingParticularly if you think you’ve won the jackpot, and especially before you go on a wild spending spree. Otherwise you could find yourself in a spot of bother like the French lottery “winner” who racked up a hefty shopping bill – only to find she hadn’t actually hit the jackpot after all.

The 46-year-old French mother, who has not been named, thought she’d won the Euro Millions lottery, so she proceeded to splash out on perfume, jewellery, clothes and other treats to celebrate her win, all paid for by cheque. But she never received her winnings and eventually realised she was actually one number away from winning the prize.

To make matters worse, when she was accused of fraud after her series of cheques bounced, the embarrassed woman invented a story about her bag being stolen rather than admit to her mistake. But she was caught out writing cheques by security cameras and eventually owned up. She’s now facing a four-month suspended sentence and will have to repay her debts. And it all could have been avoided if only she’d double-checked that ticket…

5. It’s not what’s on the inside that counts

blobfishA series of new stories this week revealed that despite all our efforts to make discrimination a thing of the past, looks still have a significant impact on how we are judged and treated. A study this week showed that tall men and slim women are likely to be paid more than their shorter and heavier peers. For every inch taller a man is, he will earn on average £1,500 more per year – and likewise, every extra stone in weight costs a woman £1,500 per year.

And it’s even having an impact in the animal world, where “ugly” animals are shunned by scientists who prefer to investigate more aesthetically pleasing species. Cute and cuddly animals attract significantly more research from scientists than rodents, bats, and the like. So the blobfish (voted the world’s ugliest animal and pictured above) has no hope then. No wonder he looks so sad.

Don’t forget – to keep up-to-date with the best viral videos and funny news every week, sign up for our Fish Feed emails and you’ll get an update every Friday! Just click here or use the box below to sign up:

[subscribe title=”Fish Feed Email Subscription” text=”Use the form below to sign up to regular updates via email.”]

Posted in Trader Lifestyle, tagged with on